December 2009
4 posts
kids
Suburban kids want to dress urban and use ghetto speak but when it comes to going into the city or the slums, they would rather stay in sheltered suburbia
Ordering
Whenever I grab a quick bitue to eat in the burbs I am always behind the suburban mom who waits to look at the menu until she is first in line. Then it suddenly becomes a game of 20 questions. My favorite is always “What do you recommend?”
Well, lady it is Big City Burrito so I’m betting a burrito would be the best choice. Then comes all the special changes and substitutions to...
One Way at a time
I hate the suburbs because the traffic signals are terrible. It is not only the case now that I have to wait to get a green arrow to turn left but that many traffic lights only let one way go at a time. This must make the soccer moms feel safer on the road. We only go on our turn. Lord knows we would not want someone to take an iniative and make decisions for themselves.
Let's go in frontwords
You can always spot a suburban driver by the way they parallel park. They get all excited for their big trip into the city and then realize that they have to parallel park (I thought all streets had 45 degree angle spots). Rather than trying to remember how to parallel, they pull into the space headfirst, leaving the rear end of the car hanging into the street. They will correct the parking 9-10...